A bridge between neurodivergent and neurotypical - What is your native tongue?

Let's start with the language you speak, your first language.

Bridging the Gap in Language Learning

Are you beginning to learn or have previously learnt the basics in a second language or a third language?

When it comes to your non-fluent language, take a moment to consider the gap between that language and all you think, feel, or experience in your native language, which is rooted in cultural experience.

As you try to bridge that gap, consider the time it can take you as you search—at times unsuccessfully—for the words, expressions and whole ideas needed to convey what you want to share in a language that is not your first.

The Complexity of Language

Take some English idioms, for example: 'It's raining cats and dogs,' 'a spanner in the works!' or 'having a chinwag.'

Now, try saying these in a non-fluent language. Think about the time it may take you to translate the words, the meaning and the context. You may start with saying the literal words initially and then move try to use the few words you know to explain the meaning behind what you are saying.

This process that does not mean that what you have communicated has been fully understood, nor the true essence of what you shared has been grasped.

As a result, you may be perceived as 'not being able' by those who speak this language/belong to this culture differs from your own, because of the loss within translation.

Understanding the Neurodivergent Experience

Now, let's consider the neurodivergent experience, how the processing, thinking, seeing and feeling may feel? Imagine it like a film:

• like a film on fast forward or slow motion

• the scenes in different sequence

• film audio/volume on LOUD or on mute

• scenes where the brightness has been dimmed or really bright or contrast has been adjusted

• how about the mixture of all the above?

then imagine having to try and edit the film and put the scenes in an order.... the time that may take, if it is possible. Then to finally quickly find words to convey this film, the storyline, the whole idea externally.... to someone else, someone neurotypical, for example. To a neurotypical, who would generally have expectation and view the film in the usual play speed with a standardised format and settings straight away.

With only that standardised expectation and perspective of 'the film', misunderstanding, confusion, feelings around inadequacy are just few words for what can arise from this.

Remaining within this perspective, again leads to that 'lost in translation' zone.

The Impact of Contrast

Coming back to the neurodivergent way of seeing the film, a change in contrast in a scene could highlight a key feature like smiling face against a sunset.

With space and allowance (including towards self) given by both parties, this new insight being expressed and received could bring about a new way of looking at the film, shared by both parties.

From lost in translation, there can come 'found in understanding' where despite the challenges of translation. Understanding and insight can be achieved through consideration, empathy and a willingness to go beyond the initial surface layer.

Achieving Found in Understanding

How can we get to this 'found in understanding ' zone? Here are a few strategies:

• Empathy: Put yourself in their place/'their shoes', remembering what it can feel like to be the person who is non-fluent but has something to say, convey and share.

• Pause and Reflect: Allow everyone some time and space and see what comes from taking a breath. In the time and space of working things out, new insights can be generated by all parties. You may be surprised by the results if you wait.

  
  

• Be a 'curious detective': - A lot can come from looking at the small details of what is shared verbally and non-verbally, all contributing towards larger understanding and connection.

Exploring the Gap

Embracing empathy and patience in communication can bridge the way to more profound connections. Together, we can work towards better understanding and appreciating the complexities of each other's experiences.

Bridge over Neurodiverse waters

Photo credit: Nick Grant - Unsplash

If you would like to find out more about what it could be like in the 'found in understanding' zone for yourself or someone you know, please click here.